Overcome Your Perfectionism

Perfectionism… do I have it?

Do you always want to stay in control, and are you very sensitive to criticism? Does everything you do have to be perfect, and do you not allow yourself any mistakes? Chances are you are a perfectionist. Research has shown that most perfectionists are convinced that their perfectionism helps them achieve their goals. Not being easily satisfied with your work and wanting to get the best out of yourself can indeed be useful and positive. Unfortunately, perfectionism turns out to be a trait you cannot have “just a little”. Perfectionists often think in black and white when it comes to success or failure. There is nothing in between. It is either perfect or worthless. The problem is that achieving a perfect result is actually impossible. Perfectionism means always setting the bar high. Too high. The goals you set are simply not achievable! No matter how well you perform, it never feels good enough. Perfectionism also often goes hand in hand with fear of failure.

The perfectionist in the thesis process

Perfectionists often run into major problems when writing a thesis, because that thesis has to be perfect. You keep deleting, changing and rewriting. And worrying. The deadline gets closer, but… you keep procrastinating. Your thesis is not perfect yet. As a perfectionist, you may now start to panic or suffer a thesis blackout. That is bad for your thesis and certainly bad for your health! Perfectionism drains your energy. As a perfectionist, you can develop serious complaints, both mental and physical.

It is often hard to break out of a phase of perfectionism and doubt on your own. Let us help you get back into your thesis flow with confidence! You will see: you will be back on the right track in no time.

The consequences of perfectionism in practice (and coaching)

In our work as thesis coaches, we see many students with perfectionism every day who experience a lot of tension and stress. This often shows up as sleeping badly, eating badly, and headaches or stomach aches. When extremely large amounts of stress hormones are produced, this can even cause a blackout. Under stress, your adrenal medulla produces stress hormones such as adrenaline and noradrenaline. These hormones have the important function of giving you clarity, overview and a faster reaction time in stressful situations. But if these stress hormones are present in your body for a long time or in excess during the thesis process, this can have all kinds of negative consequences, such as sleep problems, muscle breakdown, digestive problems, a higher heart rate and blood pressure, or… a thesis blackout.

Extreme perfectionism

We regularly coach students who are extremely perfectionistic. They are often determined to get every detail perfect and constantly worry about the quality of their thesis. They often get completely stuck because they can do nothing else but study or write their thesis. There is enormous pressure to understand everything and not to miss a single important piece of information. During coaching we see that these students are only busy with their thesis: every sentence is carefully considered and rewritten several times. As the deadline approaches, these perfectionistic students start to doubt their work enormously. The result is often an endless cycle of revising and doubting, which of course raises the stress level even further.

5 tips: dealing with perfectionism

How can you step out of that cycle of stress? And how can you, as a perfectionist, learn to deal with your perfectionism and prevent it from holding you back in your thesis process? Here are 5 tips:

1. The first step in overcoming your perfectionism is realising that you are a perfectionist and that this is holding you back. This trait does not help you, it actually sabotages your performance! Why does everything have to be so perfect anyway? Says who? What thoughts do you have about this? Let every thought drift by like a little cloud in the sky. Observe how each thought comes and goes. Yes, these thoughts are allowed to be there. But you are not your thoughts. Make a conscious choice not to take your thoughts so seriously. Take some distance from them. The little clouds drift higher and higher past you. Further and further away.
2. Now look from a greater distance at the thoughts that pass by, from a new perspective. How can you neutralise each thought or even give it a positive twist? Be your own best friend and lower the bar considerably! I MUST write a PERFECT thesis? No: I WANT to write a good thesis! So watch your wording and do not think: “I have to” or “if I don’t pass this, then…”. These words create too much pressure. Think instead: “I find this really difficult, but I am going to do my best!” If you learn to neutralise limiting thoughts in stressful situations and turn them into positive thoughts, you can stand in life with more confidence and resilience. That saves you a lot of stomach aches!
3. Do not focus on an end goal, but on the whole thesis process. A great thesis does not have to be on the table the day after tomorrow. You do not have to jump from the ground straight to the top of the tower. Take the stairs! Make a plan built up from very small steps. Work from mini goal to mini goal. As soon as you notice that your perfectionism is gaining ground, make the steps smaller. Put your next step absurdly close to you. Make the steps as small as necessary to get you moving. This creates experiences of success and gives you a good feeling and confidence!
4. Have you reached the next step? Have you written a good paragraph or written up an interview? Stand in front of the mirror and actually give yourself a pat on the back. Well done! Smile at yourself. And now out loud, from your belly! By laughing, even without a reason, endorphins, serotonin and dopamine are released, the oxygen level in your blood rises and the levels of your stress hormones drop. And the next step? It is ridiculously close. Because you choose absurdly small steps! Every source you have studied, every relevant fact you have found, every table you have created and every sub question can be a step. You did it!
5. Remember that rewriting is not necessarily a perfectionist habit. Let your thesis rest for a few days and then read it through calmly, as if you were a layperson not yet familiar with the subject matter. Ask someone else to proofread it too! Is the text pleasant to read and logically structured? Do not hesitate to change or polish things. This is part of a healthy thesis process!

Perfectionist? Watch out for the thesis blackout!

It is essential for you as a student to get a grip on your perfectionism. Perfectionism and writing a thesis do not go well together. And you definitely want to avoid a blackout during your thesis process! A blackout has everything to do with the fear of not meeting your own expectations or those of others. If you suffer from perfectionism, you are therefore more likely to experience a thesis blackout or fear of failure.

Tips: prevent a thesis blackout

Prevent a thesis blackout or reduce its effects! Topscriptie has put together a number of valuable tips for you.

1. Bring structure to your day. Sleep and eat at fixed times and consciously build in happy and relaxing moments, such as exercising, listening to your favourite music, enjoying a cup of hot chocolate or catching up with a good friend. This gives your body and mind the chance to recover from the strain and lowers your stress levels.
2. Are you stuck? Take a break. Stop (desperately) searching your brain for the information you need for a moment. Focus your attention for a while on something completely different that still requires you to use your brain. Do a crossword puzzle, watch the news or a documentary, or play a game of chess. Try to pick up the thread of your thesis again later. You will notice that the more often you practise this distraction manoeuvre for your brain, the better you get at it.
3. Turn negative thoughts into neutral or, even better, helpful thoughts.
4. Does thesis stress grab you by the throat and are you starting to panic? Breathe in calmly through your nose, down to your belly. Let your belly expand as you inhale. Hold it for at least three counts. Now breathe out gradually through your mouth, while letting your head and shoulders drop forward. Pause for a moment. Then breathe in calmly and deeply again and slowly raise your head and shoulders. Hold it again for a few counts. Repeat this as often as necessary. This breathing exercise increases the oxygen level in your brain, which breaks down the noradrenaline and brings back your ability to think. You can also look up mindfulness or breathing exercises on YouTube. Here too, practice makes perfect! So make sure you repeat this at fixed times during the day, for example before you start studying or writing your thesis.
5. Start writing by agreeing with yourself that you will write SOMETHING. It does not matter if it is wrong or not yet in the form you want to hand in to your lecturer. By actually starting and putting no pressure on it (because it is allowed to be wrong), it often works much better. If you suffer from perfectionism, you want to put something good on paper right away, but it helps to simply start writing a rough draft, which you can then perfect afterwards.
6. Are you completely stuck in your thesis blackout and unable to get out on your own? Try helping and supporting each other together with a fellow student. A personal Topscriptie coach can also guide you through this step by step.

Struggling with perfectionism or a blackout? We are happy to help!

Is your perfectionism or blackout taking control? We are here for you! All Topscriptie coaches have a great deal of experience in guiding the thesis process. We have specific experts in house for every field of study. Together with you, your personal Topscriptie coach looks at your thesis process and at the layout, structure and build up of your story. You regain confidence, overview and peace of mind and can complete your thesis step by step.

Our experienced coaches are ready! With the help of your personal Topscriptie coach, you can complete your thesis successfully, despite your perfectionism or thesis blackout.